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Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
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8:38 am - (backdated) [R3D6, 1] sanctum
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| Thursday, August 12th, 2004
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8:50 pm - (backdated) [R3D2, 2]
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Shishido-san's hair is stiff and greasy and blood flakes away when I run a hand through it, collecting on the ends of my fingertips. It's disgusting, but neither of us will get a chance to shower before we get to leave, and I -- I want to touch his hair. Even if it is unwashed and dirty and neither of us can bathe.
It's an odd habit, sleeping with his eye open. It must be new, I don't remember him doing it before, but I don't care too much. I just wish that I could sleep too, but I've been awake for too long. I don't mind watching over him, though. I slide my fingers across his cheek, only flinch a little at the traces of blood, touch that ridiculous little bandage he wears to hide the scar I gave him. He said that I'd marked him, that it was my scar. My mark. No one else's.
There are three thin, fine white lines scored into the flesh of my lower back from Shishido-san's nails, untrimmed and sharp. He says they'll fade eventually.
I hope Hiyoshi is all right.
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(comment on this)
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4:47 pm - (backdated) [R3D2, 1]
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(Are you awake?)
I'm sorry, I just -- I had a bad dream -- I didn't mean to disturb you, I just wanted to -- your hand's so cold --
(Good morning, Choutarou.)
Good morning, Shishido-san.
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(comment on this)
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2:59 pm - (backdated) [R3D1/R3D2] Mercury
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| Sunday, August 1st, 2004
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1:43 pm - [R3D1, 4] nix
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My breath is coming in sudden, ragged pants as I stare at Hiyoshi, laying on the table on his side, hand touching his cheek where I hit him as my fingers tighten at my sides, the rough texture of denim biting into my fingertips. I can't believe I just did that, can't believe (kiss you, touch you, fuck you) he just said that.
( nix )
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, July 30th, 2004
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10:52 am - [R3D1, 3] interstice
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The shaft of the arrow is slender, reed-like, but it does not bend or break beneath my fingertips. My grip slides, just a little; it's slippery, my hand greasy with blood. (Don't look. Don't think. Just pull.)
( interstice )
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
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8:16 am - [R3D1, 2] papyrus
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Hiyoshi's hand is so warm holding mine, and in the dark I can't see the dark dried blood on his fingers, though it flakes under my grasp, tiny papery flakes that are rough beneath my fingertips. He's leading me (you shouldn't let yourself be preoccupied with him, not now, not here; your teacher is DEAD, Choutarou, dead just like you will be and you're thinking about Hiyoshi Wakashi holding your hand?) as we finally manage to make it around to another entrance. He's holding it so tightly.
( papyrus )
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 27th, 2004
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3:16 pm - [R3D1, 1] domino
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The light that rouses me is harsh, and I wince, flinching away as I try to figure out what exactly is going on (you fell asleep), why I encounter scarred formica laminate instead of the warm comfort of Hiyoshi's arm beneath my fingertips. I remember falling asleep on top of him, being so drowsy that I didn't care that I was using him as a pillow (you wanted to use him as a pillow, and Shishido-san didn't seem to mind).
( domino )
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, July 24th, 2004
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8:48 pm - [R3D0, 2] tension
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Hiyoshi's skin is so warm, so warm and I can feel him tense up beneath my fingertips. He's caught, squashed between me and the window (you should pull away, he doesn't like this you know), and I can't move. Shishido-san is pressed up against my back; I hadn't expected him to do this, follow me across the aisle.
Shishido-san is laughing and I can feel his hands beneath my t-shirt as he pushes harder, and I'm sure that Hiyoshi must be feeling crushed but I can't bring myself to push back. I try to apologize, but I can't make it sincere, can't hide my amusement at the situation and I don't want to pull away (your hands on his arm, his shoulder; maintaining just the slightest distance between you, and you can tell that he's uncomfortable but this isn't your fault so you might as well enjoy it while it lasts).
( tension )
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 22nd, 2004
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1:52 pm - [R3D0, 1] electricity
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His hair is light and fine, straight strands that cling desperately to my hands with static electricity (don't let go!), simple hairstyle and straight bangs gone crazy beneath my fingertips. When I pull them away, he is sulking in that sullen way he has, the one that no one recognizes unless they spend too much time watching him (as you do), unless they are his friend (which you are not, not really), and I smile at his indignancy, too caught by the scent of his shampoo to answer him with anything other than a laugh.
Shishido-san is smiling at me when I move back across the aisle to my seat, leave my friend (not-friend) alone to write in the notebook once more. He won't let me read it, but that's okay, I didn't think he would. He's a private person, he doesn't like it when people pry, even me (especially not you).
"You shouldn't have laughed," I say (you shouldn't have laughed either) and my doubles partner just smirks at me, and when I lean back against the seat, his hand is a spot of warmth against the small of my back that relaxes me (skin touching skin, beneath your shirt, breath hot on your shoulders after night practice and your fingers stroke dark bruises left by your own serves). He shrugs, and I can feel it against my back, and I wonder again at his tolerance of this (infatuation) --
(But he knows that you will never have a chance in hell with him, anyway, and there is no need to act jealous when the only competition does not know he is competition, is there?)
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
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11:21 am - Day 04.03 :: Centimeters (backdated)
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Centimeters :: C Side
It's growing late. I should get going. I can't stay here. It's too open. That Toudo person might come back. Someone else might find me. I need to keep moving.
I wonder where Shishido-san is.
I wonder if he'll really make sure the toy and the phone go where they're supposed to go.
That looks like a good ride. I can sleep there; hide between the seats. Probably no one will find me. I think .. I remember this ride. From before?
...
It doesn't really matter.
Did it hurt, when I shot him? He didn't scream after that, he didn't cry out. He was just ... dead.
Why does my right wrist hurt so much?
The hunter's teeth weren't that sharp...
*
( Centimeters :: Out Side )
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 1st, 2004
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2:18 pm - Day 04.02 :: Cord
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Cord :: C Side
It's easy. It's so easy. I don't have to care at all.
Like the mouse.
If I can't hear them anymore, if they've stopped screaming, it's okay.
His sister, he has a sister, Neesan, oh, oh God --
Am I going crazy? I didn't want to kill. I didn't want to take up this gun, to shoot anyone. Kill anyone.
But ... the hunter came for me.
I never did find out what book he was reading, did I?
Two now. How many more? How many bullets left? But there's always more where those came from...
*
( Cord :: Out Side )
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
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2:10 pm - Day 04.01 :: Morning Forecast
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Morning Forecast :: C Side
"We're calling for rain today, so everyone try to stay dry."
Rain. It's going to rain. I only have my jacket. Why am I here? ... how could I fall asleep so easily? Calm down, Choutarou. I need to start moving. I can't stay here. Not in daylight. Need to find a new place to bed down. I left all my supplies back at the 'base' with Shishido. Better get something to eat. Before the danger zones go off, a lot of the food stalls are being taken out. The man didn't say exactly when, so I'd better move fast, or I'm going to starve.
I'm already so hungry. Hungry.... How can I be hungry after yesterday?
Life goes on, especially for you. You're hunting the hunters, remember?
I used up the last of that magazine on Hiyoshi, didn't I? What a waste. So many bullets when one or two would have sufficed. Just two magazines left. Fifty rounds. Will it be enough? There were fifty-four boys. More than four have been killed so far, so I should have enough. More than enough. Besides, I can take the weapons of anyone I kill --
I'm a hunter now.
I'm going to live, Neesan.
It's raining, Shishido-san. Isn't it wonderful?
*
( Morning Forecast :: Out Side )
((OOC: Caught up at last! XD))
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(comment on this)
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2:07 pm - Day 03.03 :: Objectivity (backdated)
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1:54 pm - Day 03.02 :: Subjectivity (backdated)
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1:49 pm - Day 03.01 :: Receptivity (backdated)
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C Side :: Receptivity
Am I alone? He's not here. He should be leaning against me, warm.
Where is he? Shishido-san, where are you? I'm cold.
You're not here.
Am I alone?
*
( Out Side :: Receptivity )
((OOC: Takes place just before Alice))
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 22nd, 2004
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12:57 pm - 02.03 :: Hands Clean (slightly backdated =p)
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C Side :: Hands Clean
"Shishido-san?"
He's been so quiet. He wouldn't go with me, wouldn't go out. I wish he had moved -- said something --
"Are you asleep already?"
I've ... what if ... what if he ...
"All right. I'll guard first. We can go out tomorrow night."
( Out Side :: Hands Clean )
current mood: lonely
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, April 19th, 2004
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10:02 am - Day 02.02 :: The way it has to be.
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C Side :: The way it has to be.
I know he doesn't want to do this, but I can't. I can't ... Shishido-san.
It's a fair trade, isn't it? I can't worry about this now. I can do this. We can do this. What time is it...?
Not late enough yet. Not yet. We'll wait until 9 to come out. So far, so good. It's all going according to the plan.
He's so warm. He's so...
*
( Out Side :: The way it has to be. )
current mood: determined
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 18th, 2004
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6:15 pm - Day 02.01 :: Don't be Foolish
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C Side :: Don't be Foolish
What will I do if he says no? ... It's too quiet. Too damned quiet. What if he says no?
He should say no. That's normal, I can deal with it. I can handle it. He'll say no, and I'll ... have to tell him to say yes.
What if he won't say yes? He has the gun -- he has the -- what if he turns on me --
Calm down, Choutarou. Yes, Shishido-san. I trust you. Even if you do turn on me in the end.
Because I will, too.
(But we don't want to think about that, do we?)
*
( Out Side :: Don't be Foolish )
current mood: eyes wide open
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 11th, 2004
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12:18 pm - Day 01.03 :: Hesitation
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Hesitation :: C Side
It's been a long time, Shishido-san. Where are you?
I've heard footsteps four times now. None of them were you; I didn't even see one of them. You haven't come yet.
Or have you come, and I missed you?
Why did you ask me to meet you at the Talon? Of course, we're partners, we're friends. Everything's going to be all right. As long as we're together. We're a good team, we're Doubles One.
...you're here.
You came.
You really came, you rea--
*
( Hesitation :: Out Side )
current mood: uncertain .... torn
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